


Forged

by TallyIV



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Eating Disorders, F/M, Past Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24058327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TallyIV/pseuds/TallyIV
Summary: Basically, I'm drawing a little bit from my own struggles with depression to illustrate this story. however this has been taken farther. if mentions of abuse, depression, eating disorders, or suicidal behavior would trigger you please don't read or be cautious.you have been forewarned.Thorin Oakenshield x OFC (half elf {mum} half dwarf {dad})best friend/ sibling reationship with Dwalinclose with whole company.
Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield & Thorin's Company, Thorin Oakenshield/Original Female Character(s), dwalin/ reader (friend)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. the knife

Running fast as she can with no turning back. There is no chance of return now, not with the shadow which chased her. Its cold fingers tracing up her spine no matter how hard she tried to get away. Reaching out to pull her away from her goal, the bright light of her friends’ souls. Beating her down, whispering death in her ears.  
“Gasp” … “pant pant pant”  
Ember shot up from her bed and scrambled to her window throwing it open she breathed in the cool mountain air. Ever since the experiences leading up to her residence in the mountain she had been plagued by these nightmares. And ever since she saved Thorin from Azog’s killing blow the pain hadn’t helped with that. Creeping its way into her dreams to make her relive that event. She rubbed her shoulder.  
“Well seems like I won’t be getting any more sleep” she mumbled, pulling herself out of her tiny bed. She rolled her shoulders trying to easy the stiffness that seemed to always dwell there. She was grateful she couldn’t see the large scares that now marred her back. Ember stretched groaning before moving from her sleeping alcove to the open area of the workshop where she now spent most of her time. There were still glowing coals in the forge from where she had banked them the night before, She filled the kettle with drinking water and moved it on it’s swinging arm to hang over the coals as she added some fuel to the fire. Light streamed into the open stone room from one of the few glass pained windows in Erabor to look on the outside world. As high up in the mountain as she was, most of the year she would have to clean the snow from around the window to open it but not this day. It was near midsummer, and there were even little flowers growing up around her tiny opening. She pushed the window open a few inches to allow the fresh air in. Standing she fell into a contemplative state her gaze lingering out in the middle distance near the edge of Mirkwood.  
The whistling of the kettle pulled her from her daze and she quickly used it to prepare her morning tea, before moving to her work bench. Fili’s birthday was in a week’s time and Kili had commissioned Ember to craft a new dagger for his brother. Besides Dwalin, who would come and visit Ember for a few minutes of quiet company and a trusted hand to mend he weapons, Fili and Kili seemed to be the only members of the Company who remembered that Ember was up in the secluded forge. She would sometimes get letters from Bilbo but it was a long way to the shire and back, so the letters were infrequent. But back to the Dagger which lay disassembled on the work bench. She had finished the etchings on the blade before she went to bed in the wee hours of the morning.  
Now all there was to do was assemble, and wrap the grip with fine leather. She began to work her long clever fingers which she had inherited from her Elvish mother, nimbly going through the steps. She had just dabbed the last bit of glue and clamped it into place when a chipper knock sounded on the door. She knew it was Kili, no one else could possibly be that enthusiastic in the morning.  
“Enter”  
Kili burst into the room, the brunette prince had healed much better frim his injuries in the past months than she had. He practically bounded everywhere, and now flitted around the forge looking at everything before coming to lean over her shoulder to stare in awe at the blade she had crafted.  
“Its perfect!!! He is going to love it!” Kili exclaimed, reaching out to touch it. But before his fingers reached it she smacked his hand away.  
“The glue has to dry, give it a few minutes”. She finished her now cold team.  
“Good so you have a few minutes to eat with me then?” Kili held up a previously unnoticed basket covered with a cloth. Grinning broadly’ “Even nicked some berry tarts, as well as some roast beef, and some of the good bread”  
“That’s sweet Kili. But I’m not hungry this morning” Kili’s grin fell.  
“You need to eat Ember, I worry about you. Up here all alone, you’re getting too skinny”  
Ember poured herself more tea, and Kili could see the hard points of her shoulder blades through her linen shirt. “I am a grown woman Kili, and older than you, I know how to take care of myself”  
“One cannot live on tea alone you know” Kili tried again setting the basket down on the table.  
“I do eat you know” she said turning around, Kili took in the heavy bags under her eyes and the dullness there. “I send for food from the kitchens when I am hungry”  
Kili got angry at this, more out of worry for his friend than anything, “don’t lie to me Ember, The kitchen has no record of you ordering food in the past week. And the guard station at the end of the hall has no record of anyone passing except me Fili and Dwalin” Kili was nearly shouting by the end of his speech.  
“So?” She shrugged, “what’s it even matter anyway?”  
“It matter’s because you are one of Company, a Hero, you saved mine and my brother’s lives as well as my uncle’s”. As soon as he mentioned Thorin Ember flinched as if struck and Kili knew he had done the wrong thing. Any light that had been in her eyes vanished, and her face was as blank as stone.  
“If you came to lecture me Kili, you can just take the knife and Go” She growled back at him turning to stare out the window. Ignoring Kili as he sighed, shoulder’s slumping in defeat. He gathered the knife and the fine sheath for it she had crafted and left a stack of gold coins on the work table in their place. He left the basket on the table in the hope that she would at least eat something. And left closing the door behind him.  
Once the door closed, Kili slumped against it scrubbing at his face. He knew he shouldn’t have mentioned Thorin to Ember but it had just slipped out. It was hard not to, Thorin and Ember had been close even best friends for as long as Kili could remember, even though she was half Elvin. But while he was under the Dragon sickness Thorin said and did things to Ember that to one should endure. Shattering her with poisonous words of hatred and more than a few bruises and cracked ribs. Which she endured to keep his wrath from others. Then in the battle even with her pervious injuries both physical and Mental she saved them. Nearly giving her life for Thorin, in his shame at his actions towards his friend Thorin refused to visit her even as she nearly fell to fever. When She was well enough she had moved up here, to this high Forge, not able to leave completely but not willing to subject her once friends to her presence which she now believe was so taxing for them.  
Most of the company believed she had left with Bilbo, and to Kili’s knowledge even sent letters to her at Bilbo’s address. Dwalin, knew she was up here and visited often. Having been her best friend second only to Thorin. If Dwalin knew than Balin did as well and apparently sent candy to her on occasion. Besides that only Fili and Kili knew where she dwelt. She had an anonymous contract with a weapon’s merchant in the city, where her products were in the highest demand.  
Something had to be done, Tauriel had told Kili about Elves fading, He didn’t want the woman he considered like an older sister or a particularly fun aunt to die. Kili dashed the mist of potential tears from his eyes and began the long walk to the palace, where preparations for the banquet in Fili’s honor was underway.


	2. at the table

Back in the High Forge, Ember slumped against the wall shaking scrubbing her face, she did not cry though. She almost couldn’t reach that level of emotion again. Her eye’s fell on the basket though and just a glimmer of her past insatiable curiosity drove her to investigate the contents. Inside to carefully wrap to be snuck from the kitchen as Kili had implied sat a strawberry tart, which had been her favorite. Next to it was some of her favorite bread, soft fluffy white on the inside crunchy golden on the outside with savory butter in a small wax package, creamy cheese, roast beef, grilled leaks and crisp apples. A small broken smile flashed across her face. Kili really did know her rather well. He had picked all her favorite foods. Even had included a bottle of her favorite wine. She set the bottle of wine away for another time. In the coolest corner of her sleeping alcove, under her bed. Then pulled out an apple, she crunched on it while she set things up for a new project, a broad headed battle axe, but as anyone who has ever gone a long time without food would tell you an apple doesn’t do much in terms of filling you up it seems to make you hungrier generally. So not long after the apple core had been tossed out the window, some of the bread got cut and smeared with butter and cheese, and a little piece of roast beef formed an open face sandwich before the food was moved to the sleeping alcove and Ember got to work.  
At dinner that night, Kili was a lot quieter than normal quietly picking at his food rather than joining in on the boisterous conversation. Fili noticed this and cast curious eyes to the quiet dwarf beside him, “What is the matter Kili?”  
Kili looked up at him, then around the table at the assembled dwarves. All the Company were there except Thorin, Bilbo, Ember and Nori (Nori was off doing whatever a master spy did on his free time, stealing pies from a dam he was interested in).  
“I visited Ember today” He said quietly.  
Many of the dwarves frowned at this and glanced around at each other. Only Fili, Dwalin, Balin, and surprisingly Bumbur had knowing looks on their faces. It was Ori the spoke up,  
“How could you have visited Lady Ember? She’s in the Shire”  
Dwalin huffed, “She never left, been living in the abandoned High Forge On the east side near the palace”  
Shocked murmurs went around the table, “Then why haven’t we seen her?” Dori asked frowning as if trying to remember seeing her around. Bofur suddenly got a look of realization on his face, “That’s where those orders of supplied were going!”  
“Why does seeing her make you so quiet?” Ori asked.  
Kili looked down at his hands, “She’s not doing very well” he picked at an invisible spot in his knuckle, “I think she’s fading”.  
“Fading?” the question went around the table. Kili decided to give an explanation.  
“Tauriel told me about it, it’s something that can happen to Elves when they experience something particularly horrible like the loss of a loved one and their souls just give up and begin to leave their bodies.”  
The whole table was quiet as they processed that. “How do we help her?” someone asked in a quiet voice.  
“I don’t know, maybe I would ask Tauriel”  
They all agreed that they would wait to do anything until Tauriel told them what could be done. They were a much more somber company that night and Thorin was a little shocked by this when he entered to eat with them. But shrugged it off thinking they were all just tired.


	3. the fall

Ember had been working for nearly 10 hours straight and the axe was nearly finished when a wave of dizziness came over her. She set down the blade and whetstone she had in her hands and rested back against the wall for a moment. Sweat streaming down her face. She moved to the partially open window and pushed it open farther letting the evening air dance across her skin. A few deep breaths and the dizziness went away,  
“I’m ok”  
She began to walk back into the room when she stumbled and fell against the table. Her teacup fell to the floor, the fine china shattering.  
“I’m ok”  
She pushed herself up with shaky arms. When she finally was standing she breathed a sigh of relief until a darkness started falling across the backs of her eyes and she fell again smashing her head against the anvil on the way down.  
She didn’t remember anything after that for a long time, except briefly when she felt strong arms lift her and a burly voice calling her name. However it soon was lost in the swirling greys that surrounded her.  
…  
It was very hard for Dwalin to let Ember go through the punishment Thorin Inflicted on her while caught beneath the Gold’s spell. Every time she fell into his arms with new bruises both on her body and soul, and tears running down her face, he wanted to commit treason against his king. For this woman who he thought of as a sister, and though would one day be his queen.  
All those years Dwalin standing on one side of Thorin, Ember on the other side. Dwalin had known she was Thorin’s One. To see her shattered for the sake of the others burned him, he felt useless to protect his queen, from his King. As she begged him not to be angry with Thorin, “It is the sickness”, telling him it would all be ok.  
Then seeing her on the ice, standing above Thorin, Taking Azog’s sword for him, after saving the Princes. Dwalin cried for the first time since the battle of Moria. Not letting anyone touch her as he carried her down the mountain. Sitting by her bed when Thorin would not, answering her fever derived whispers of, “Where is He?”, “Did I fail again?” the saddest of all, “why does he hate me?”  
Dwalin took all his time away from the King to sit with Ember, Helping her learn to walk. He found the Forge for her, He thought it would help her to be able to ply her craft in peace. But she was still fading, he could see it every time he visited her. She got a little thinner, seemed a little hollower, her eyes were no longer the piercing silver green, but a dull common grey, her skin was ashen. They had had to cut her hair because of the fever, Dwalin had nearly cried at that as well. But now even though it had grown nearly to her shoulders again it was dull and tangled. She no longer cared about anything except making her weapons.  
When Kili made his announcement at dinner, Dwalin did not need to wait for Tauriel’s verdict he knew the truth. Ember was fading fast.  
The next morning while on Guard for Thorin he asked the question he had wanted to ask since Ember was in the hospital.  
“Thorin?”  
“What is it, Dwalin” Thorin didn’t even look up from the papers he was reviewing.  
“Why didn’t you visit her?” That made Thorin pause, his hands trembled, as he carefully set down the parchment.  
“Who?”  
“Ember? She asked for you every day?  
“How could I after what I did to her?” Thorin’s voice trembled, and held so much remorse.  
“She knew it was the sickness, She knew you didn’t mean it, every time she begged me not to harm you for what you had done to her. She still saved you, but you never visited her”.  
“I couldn’t” Thorin bowed his head, “I don’t deserve forgiveness” his shoulder’s shook slightly. Dwalin knew what he was going to say next could break the king, but some part of him wanted the king to break just a little.  
“She’s fading”  
Thorin’s head snapped up, “What?!”  
“She’s fading, dying, she’s slowly letting herself fade away because even though she forgave you the instant you hit her or said those things because she knew it was the sickness. Now that you are better and still did not come to her she believes you meant them. She believes she deserved it, and should not have survived Azog. More than anything that is what has broken her.”  
Dwalin was pretty sure that was the longest speak he had ever made, but that cruel part of him said it was worth it to see Thorin’s shoulder’s bend and shake in quiet heartbreak. Dwalin resumed his guarding posture. But not before Thorin asked in a voice laced with so much emotion it chased the cruel bit of Dwalin’s heart back into its corner,  
“Where is she?”  
“In the High Forge east of the Palace” Thorin flinched slightly, she had been so close all this time.  
“Do you think she would see me?”  
“I’ll ask, when I go to see her.  
…  
Dwalin climbed the long stair leading to the Forge, when he had chosen it for her, he had though the stairs would help her gain back her strength. But she rarely left after the first few weeks, relying on a small elevator to send her finished products and receive supplies for her Forge. He knocked on the Door,  
“Ember Its Dwalin”  
He tried knocking a few more times, but there was no answer, so he slowly pushed open the door, calling out her name. Until he saw her sprawled on the floor a bloody gash on her head now dried and a slowly drying pool of blood below. He quickly surveyed the room for an attacker or signs of a struggle, but the only thing out of place was her shattered teacup and saucer on the ground. He carefully lifted her in his arms and carried her down the stairs making sure to lock the door with his extra key on the way out.  
Before bringing her to the royal infirmary, for Oin to take care of her.


	4. dwindle

The day after the Company dinner, Kili (with permission from Balin for once) blew off his duties to visit Mirkwood and speak with his Beloved Tauriel.  
“What brings you here my Love?” Tauriel asked when they met each other in the Hall near the throne room.  
“Well” he grinned cheekily “I wanted to see my beautiful Lover” then his eyes saddened a bit, “and I had a question?”  
“A heavy question to dim your cheeky nature” She teased him, but when he did not rise to her teasing she frowned. “What is this about Kili?”  
“Do you remember Ember?”  
“The half elf who was in the company?”  
“Yes, Something …” tears started welling in his eyes, “Something happened between her and my uncle before the battle, but she saved us and nearly died. While she was healing he didn’t visit her. Now she lives alone in a high forge away from everybody”  
Tauriel frowned, “That is indeed sad that she has isolated herself, Kili, but it is probably her way of coping”.  
“That’s what I thought but she’s different, she won’t eat, I know she doesn’t sleep more than an hour or two, she’s different it’s like she’s not all there anymore” the tears were now trailing down his cheeks.  
“She’s fading” The Elven king’s voice came from behind Kili. Tauriel Bowed to the Thranduil, and Kili turned to him to bow as well but the King raised his hand, stopping them.   
“Lady Ember is fading?” Tauriel asked, eyes growing sad.  
“Yes, I am honestly surprised she has lasted this long after the pain and neglect she has suffered. Although” he placed a finger on the hilt of the sword Kili wore at his waist, one forged for him by Ember, “I suspect her craft as much to do with that”. Kili looked down at his blade then back up to the king.  
“What can be done?”  
The King opened his mouth to answer, but a guard rushed up interrupting him, “My King, there is a messenger raven for Prince Kili.”  
“What does it say?” Kili asked  
“Lord Dwalin found lady Ember collapsed at her Forge, they request your return”, Tears spouted anew from Kili’s eyes and Tauriel placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.   
“I will accompany you” She said, causing him to look up at her with a grateful expression which quickly turned to shock when the King made his next statement.  
“As will I” he paused taking in everyone’s expressions “my powers are far greater than yours Captain, and I knew her mother a long time ago, she was a dear friend.” He voice grew a bit nostalgic with the last part. Before he ushered them to the Gate journey back to Erabor.  
…

The light was too bright, it too warm, and there was a weight across Ember’s arm. Her eyes close tighter against the pain behind her eyes.  
“Ember?” Dwalin’s voice came husky from somewhere to the side.  
She groaned in response. Before trying to open her eyes again. This time she was marginally successful, managing to squint the direction his voice had come from before blinking a few times to make out his hulking shape. It filled a chair off to the side of the bed. Eventually she could see clear enough to lock eyes with him. His eyes cut down to her side. She followed his gaze to find Kili asleep with his hand resting over hers. Fili was on the ground his head in his brother’s lap, both fast asleep.  
“Wh…” Ember started but her voice croaked out. Dwalin quickly got up and helped her drink some water. “What happened?”  
“I went to visit you and found you on the ground, you fell, the blood…” he trailed off. Looking out the window, where the morning? Evening? Sun poured in. Ember could see the blood at his shoulder and on his arms, long since dried. Her eyes then turned to the window as well.  
Minutes passed between them like falling stones until she broke it, “I’m sorry”  
“What for?”  
“You had to save me again, must be tired of it by now”  
“Never” he turned back to her. Taking in how thin she looked even under the blankets.  
Her eyes stayed fixed on the window, “such a burden” she murmured under her breath. Dwalin shot up from his chair and moved to sit on the side of the bed, knocking Kili off in the process. His hands cradled her face forcing her to look into his eye, to actually listen to his words.  
“Never say that! Never! Please” he was almost begging, Dwalin never begged. “Ember, please can you not see how much you mean to us? To Kili who got the elf king to come treat you? To Fili? To me?”  
Her eyes slid way, “he was right I make you weaker, should just…” Dwalin’s hand covered her mouth cutting her off.  
“Don’t finish that sentence!” he growled eyes like glowing green coals. “How could you make us weaker if you give us something to fight for? to live for? You are as a sister to me Ember, and I love you as such do you really think I would be ok if you… if...” his voice faded out again and his eyes fill with tears. He laid his head on her thin shoulder and sobbed. Fili and Kili slowly made their way out of the room. It was hard to see the grizzled warrior so broken but they understood. Dwarves create tight familial bonds, even with the type of family not of blood, and sisters are particularly precious often spoiled rotten by their brothers.  
Oin slipped into the room, the princes having told him Ember was awake.   
“Lad, you should go rest” he said gently to Dwalin. “I need to check on her”. When Dwalin shook his head, Oin put a gentle but insistent hand on his shoulder. “At least bath and groom your hair, you have guard duty soon”. This got Dwalin up and shuffling out of the room.  
Oin took his place at the side of the bed, “he has been sitting with you for the past 4 days”.  
She didn’t respond only moving her gaze back to the window. Oin sighed and checked her before, leaving the room again.


	5. hear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry short chapter but work started up again ya know getting back into the flow of things

Dwalin stood to the side on Thorin’s throne, as he always did when guarding his king. His mind more occupied with what had happened with Ember than there with his king. Until Thorin broke the silence between two petitioners.  
“How is she?”  
“Physically or mentally?” Dwalin asked a slight modicum of accusation in his tone.  
“Either? Both?” Thorin rubbed his brow.   
“Physically aside from malnourishment she will recover quickly” Thranduil said making a grand entrance to the hall. “That is if her soul can recover”. He stopped a lot closer to Thorin’s throne than was strictly polite. If Dwalin wasn’t so distraught over Ember’s situation he probably would have growled at the elf king, but as it was Thranduil had saved Ember. That made him at least slightly better in Dwalin’s book.  
“Her soul?” Thorin looked at Dwalin for understanding but Dwalin looked steadfastly ahead. He had tried to tell Thorin, maybe Thranduil would shock the king into understanding.  
“She might have the stature of a dwarf, but she is an Elf as well. Even though elves are immortal, when dealt a great enough blow physically or mentally we can parish”, the silver haired king’s eyes pierced through Thorin, right to the center of who he was. “You have neglected your duty to her. You can’t be trusted with her anymore. I will be taking her back to the Woodland realm where she can be looked after properly”.  
Thorin started but then seemed to collapse slightly into his seat, resigned and nodded. This reaction finally broke Dwalin’s calm.  
“That’s it?!” Dwalin grabbed the front of Thorin’s coat pulling up so they were nose to nose. “That’s all this is your one we are taking about and you won’t even try?! After all she did for you? After all she has done for this kingdom, you’re just going to cast her aside again?!”  
Thorin looked aside, “She’ll be better off away from me?!”  
“You fucking coward” Dwalin hissed through his teeth, shoving Thorin way. Before turning to Thranduil. “I will go with her, as her guard and friend”.  
“Very well” Thranduil turned to go, Dwalin followed him out.


	6. update

I am so sorry i havent updated this more. I recently moved from the US to England and things have been hectic with my new job and finding the privacy or inspiration to write. I didnt want to just leave anyone hanging. but i have been really struggling with figuring out how to end this story. i Know it needs atleast one more chapter but escapes me.   
\Thank you for your patience.   
Kisses.  
Tally


End file.
